Some time ago I dreamed of my goat, which I herded and next to whom I grew up. In fact, she was like a sister to me :), I went through many adventures with her. š
We took the goat, when I was in primary school, being from the village, I went with other friends to the hills, to the plains to herd animals, some with goats, some with cattle. When I went with other children from neighbouring houses, to herd animals, we played, and the animals were less free and more attached. š We had a lot of funny stories related to my goat, sometimes other cousins would come and we, six children, would go to herd the goat. š
But what delicious milk my goat gave, mmm.. I loved to drink it fresh, warm, after my mother milked her.
Every year in the spring my goat gave birth to little goats. My parents used to cut a little goat for Easter (according to traditions), but I didn’t even want to hear or taste the meat. In addition, I kept notes on a piece of paper, where I wrote down which kid, under what name and when each was born.
I admit that my goat Dumitritza, Mitza for short, was special, more naughty, and when she was in a herd of goats for several years in a row, only she wore a bell around her neck, because, according to the shepherd, she was smart and managed to get out of the herd , to try the taste of other herbs or more delicious shrubs.
I was a teenager, in ninth grade, and I started to feel embarrassed about walking with a goat, while other teenagers started going to the disco.
Years passed and in the 11th grade, my goat got older, it became more difficult for her to walk, I felt very sorry for her and in order not to see her die before our eyes, my parents and I decided to give her to a more needy family. It was quite difficult for me to part with her.
This is how upbringing was in Moldova, this is how my parents raised me, not much attention is paid to animals, people should be pitied, and there are fewer animals.
I felt like I had betrayed her and kept this pain deep inside.
Only now, many years later, one morning I woke up, overwhelmed by the emotions that I was then suppressing, and I felt bodily pain and I realized that I had not fully lived through those emotions of separation. I took a pencil in my hand and, with tears in my eyes, began to draw this portrait.
I am very pleased with the result and with love and honour, I will hang it on the wall of my house.
Often the pain of our body, the traumas of the past are suppressed deep inside and it is important not to believe that we are this pain, these are emotions from the past that have been reactivated in the present, and with which we must cope, but not necessarily identify with them.
If you are interested in more about body pain, I recommend you read the books, which I read very excitedly – A New Earth, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, because there is only the present.
Epilogue
And yes, allow you and your children to live the pain to the fullest and not store it in you!
You can also buy, the white T-shirt with my goat, on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/de-en/listing/1506346984/goat-lovers-t-shirt-design
